Grammar Quiz

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
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(Swank)

The secret of life?
There was a guy who lived to be 100.

A reporter asked him his secret and he said "I never argue."
The reporter said, "There must be more to it than that."
The old guy said, "I guess you're right."

On a personal note I have shifted to a new ACE inhibitor which has a 20% better record at keeping heart patients alive. I have also gone on to diuretics (yes someone is always taking the p***!)

IT (Information Technology) is a source of great awe and wonder. It is a source of fun. It is a means of communicating with other pupils all over the world. It provides access to a world of information. It allows you to express yourself creatively and to talk to the world through your own webpage, creating new knowledge as well as sharing.

None of this is understood by the government. On the contrary. To the government IT is training for work, a means to promote Microsoft, a way to bore the a** off every student.

The only way the program of study can be of use is if teachers subvert (sorry "adapt creatively") to match the needs of their pupils. I have a modest example on my webpage.

And why on earth did they have to change the name to ICT so email partners across the world do not know what my form are talking about?

Vote for the crook not the nazi?
The BNP (My daughter tells me it stands for Bullies, Nazis and Prats) seem to be trading on the argument that Labour has betrayed the white working class. Their appeal is simple or simplistic: jobs and homes for whites at the expense of blacks and asylum-seekers.

Unless (for example) the trade unions break with Labour and start fielding working class candidates prepared to fight for the community, there will be nobody to speak for the working class community and ppl may well turn to the BNP as an act of desperation.

The BNP also notoriously use violence and threats of violence to intimidate members of ethnic minorities from voting.

At the moment, people may feel they have the same choice as the French electorate in the presidential election: "vote for the crook not the nazi."

Piers of the Realm
There are hundreds of unquestionably valid photos of Iraqis being abused. There is new evidence pouring out of specific instructions from on high for soldiers to torture prisoners and of the abuse of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.

Last night the news media led on the story of Piers Morgan getting the chop as Mirror editor.

We will never know if the photos were genuine or if they were fake was the purpose to distract attention from the real issue by elevating Piers Morgan (who has never tortured anyone or ordered them tortured) into the villain of the piece.

The White Rabbit
When I was young a read a book called "The White Rabbit" which told about how a British airman was tortured by the Nazis by being humiliated and half-drowned. The book frightened me at the time. Then today I read the following:
"FBI officials are so concerned at interrogation techniques being used by the CIA on al-Qaeda detainees that they have advised their agents not to take part in many of the interviews, it was reported today.



The methods, which were authorised by the US Justice Department after the 9/11 attacks, include a technique known as "water boarding", in which a prisoner is strapped down, forcibly pushed under water and made to believe he might drown, The New York Times reported today."

So not only are the CIA borrowing methods from the South African Bureau of State Security; they are borrowing methods from the Nazis.

Not exactly a "rogue element" then.

A game of chess
White Black

1. e2-e4 e7-e5

2. N-f3 N-c6

3. B-b5 N-f6

4. N-c3 B-c5

5. BxNc6 b7xBc6

6. Nxe5 O-O

7. N-d3 B-b6

8. O-O c6-c5

9. R-e1 B-b7

10. e4-e5 N-d5

11. b2-b3 R-e8

12. B-b2 N-b4

13. NxN c5xNb4

14. N-a4 Q-g5

15. g2-g3 f7-f6

16. e5xf6 RxRe1+

17. QxRe1 Q-d5

18. K-f1 Q-h1+

19. K-e2 R-e8+

Resigns.

The advantage of playing chess against my astrophysicist son is that if I lose I can bask in his reflected glory and if I win I can gloat. A win-win situation.

The Game
The Game (a paradox)

The object of the game is to forget about the game.

There are no prizes for winning. It will eventually drive you insane. This is counted as losing except under White House rules where it counts as a win!

It is a game for all the family, and ultimately all the world. It is free.

School leavers at Sackville
Our local rag had a scare story about local police being drafted in to deal with year 11 pupils leaving today on exam leave.

I have a vivid recollection of the "good old days" when we left Selhust Grammar School in Croydon in 1968 and somebody set the dustbins on fire. This was pretty dangerous behaviour and could have set the school alight were it not for the fact that staff knew that it happened every year and it was therefore something they were waiting for.

My school was everything the right want. It was a grammar school and it had corporal punishment - yet even then there was disaffection so it is not a new phenomenon.

It is true that pupils are alienated and it would be nice to see some serious research into why. It is quite possible, for example, that constant testing for no purpose alienates pupils. This is different from saying "it is OK to get drunk and cause a nuisance" although that is how the right would read it. Their cosy nostrums will not solve the problem however, trying to find out the reason for the alienation might.

Mistakes says Bush!
I was not reassured that in a broadcast on an American controlled Arabic language TV station today Mr. Bush said he hoped the people of Iraq would know "that in a democracy, everything is not perfect; that mistakes are made."

Bush thinks ppl can torture "by mistake" or perhaps the mistake was taking the pictures? No such photographs have come out of Guantanamo Bay as yet and the Commandant of Guantanamo has gone over to Iraq presumably to confiscate the cameras from his snap-happy subordinates.